Smack Talk Stages

Stages in Smack Talk are Smash-like platforms with a studio that says yes to comments. The store page promises 10 distinct stages and 6 variants. This list names the ones that appeared in Steam news and screenshots. If random select drops you on something unnamed, walk the blast zone before you shout an ultimate.

Use this with how to win and the character tier list. Width loves Cowboy. Boxes love Cop. Platforms love Diver.

Tutorial / grassy island

The first film language of the game: wood platforms, mountains, open air. Revamped when team settings shipped. Best lab for recoveries and for controls. Low gimmick, high honesty. Beginners should host here.

You guys told me to add it, so I DID — jail stage props

City rooftops

Bananas, AC units, wanted posters, police cars, percent HUD. Screenshots show Chef, Pigeon, Samurai, Gorilla. Horizontal lanes for sushi trains and Quick Draw. Watch the roof edge; it is a real blast zone. 1.0 added another city layout with Ranger and Kaiju — treat launch city as a sibling, not a clone, until you walk it.

Jail / prison

Bars, beds, jailbreak alarm, Cop energy. Community props (turtle with a gun, extra inmates) landed because comments asked. Tight space. Projectiles eat walls. Chops and grabs go up. The video on this page is the studio stuffing comments into the cells. If you random this in eight-player FFA, you consented to a blender.

Lava

Center platform submerges. Spawn points vary. Time-above-lava was later increased. Do not spaghetti-windup in the middle. Edge-guards are free when the floor disappears. Patch notes even shrunk some “bigger island” and “big city” camera bounds — always relearn after a layout patch.

Pirate ship (High Seas)

Horizontal run-off, themed with Pirate and Fish. Kraken hitboxes were wrong at least once. Good Cowboy and Pirate stage, scary if you cannot recover on a moving silhouette. Text chat shipped in the same update; use it to call ship side.

Wrestling arena

Macho Man’s packed stadium. Vertical crowd, denser floor. Team mode’s home aesthetic. Friendly fire off plus overlapping hitboxes will look like a tag match whether you wanted one or not.

Chalkboard / classroom

Teacher’s stage, called out as larger and more open than most. Projectile heaven. Detention ult plus width is the point. If you hate guns, veto it.

Barn

Animal-sound character roommate. Expect clutter and joke geometry. Fun, not a tournament pick. Keep it for rooms that already opened how to play and now want chaos.

Variants

The store’s “6 variants” are not fully named in news posts. Play them as palette and hazard tweaks of the above. If a variant moves a blast zone, it is a new stage for your recovery. Lab it before you lock Diver platforms on a ledge that no longer exists.

Hosting rules

Turn off random until the room has seen lava and jail. Announce the stage in text chat. Pair island with beginners, chalkboard with Cowboy mains, jail with people who read combos. Eight players plus jail is how you get refunds. Four players plus island is how you get fans.

Walk every layout once in an empty lobby. Shout one recovery from each side. That ten-minute tour is worth more than a theory graph. Then go back to a named stage and play for stocks.

Veto sheet for hosts

• First night: island only.
• Second night: island plus rooftop city.
• People who read combos: add chalkboard.
• People who main Cop or Gorilla: add jail once.
• Never random lava in a group that still misses recoveries.
• Never eight-player jail unless the goal is content, not friendship.

Say the veto in text chat so nobody spends a phrase arguing. Stage select is part of how to play, but the names live here so you can copy them. If 1.0’s city variant surprises you, treat it as chalkboard with more posters until you have a stock on both sides. New geometry is always a recovery exam first, a screenshot second.